I've finally found my peace. me and dad talked, looks like we are going with option C. nothing confirmed officially, but its definitely looking like that's what its gonna be. I've been feeling more at peace about this every day.
it's gonna be hard, and stretching, and i feel like it could be a long year.
but i think its also needed, and important, and God is working. in my life and in others and I can kinda see that more now, and it's really exciting!
I've got a few little things that are starting to line up, not the big important details, but the little ones that will make Option C more bearable, and are allowing me to even get excited about it.
it might not seem as fun or easy as just going back to Bethany and being with my friends, but I think God is calling me else where for now.
I got asked today how many more days till Bethany, and if i was excited, and i was able to count down the days and talk about, with out actually feeling disappointed that i'm not going back, or wishing that i was. it was just a matter of fact, that there is 40 days until the 2 and 3 years will arrive back on campus, and i most likely will not be among them.
the only area that i'm still hoping for peace in, is in regards to this week at camp. going back to conestoga for the first time since week 2. I know i'm not allowed to let what happened that week affect me the rest of summer and my other weeks of camp... but it's so hard. it's so hard not to think about what happened, and to not let it affect you, and now going back to where it did happen... But God is with me, and we've got some amazing staff there. some who were there with me that week as well. I think it will be okay, but i am a little worried about this week.
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